Beyond the Bounds of Decency

I seem to be having a little disagreement over on a news story. It seems that an RSO advocate, a demented woman going by the name Jan Fewell has decided to take it upon herself to look up people she feels could possibly be Romeo & Juliet cases on the sex offender registry, then look up the court records, obtain the victims name and call them on the phone to ask them if they were really sexually assaulted or not. Yes indeed, she's recruiting activists from the victim pool.

I am in shock. I am in shock not only that she did it, but she's defending it. She's defending it by trying to claim that I don't know the difference between a victim and a teenager who had consensual sex with their boyfriend. I'm claiming that she doesn't know if the person she calls is a victim or a teenager who had consensual sex with their boyfriend.

I have no more words in me for this type of behavior. This goes beyond anything I've ever witnessed in my life. It surpasses Cheryl Griffths claim that CSA victims are lower than the offender. That being said, I think we should bring back the voice of the victim. They are the reason we are here after all. THEY are the voices who matter the most.

This is the first voice that touched me. The one who inspired me, the one who helped me most to understand. Sometimes brutal - sometimes raw - sometimes poetic, it is the voice of so many children who don't have the ability even as adults to speak out about their experiences. It is the voice of a courageous woman, a hero. A woman often misunderstood by many but always honest with herself - and with us.

What kind of legacy will you leave behind?

I have the power and the goodness to overcome depression.
I have all it takes to be me and value my self.
I am valuable to myself which is all that really matters.
No one can take that away from me.

Child abuse did not steal my soul
God saved it.

They did however try to
and try to and try to and try to
All of them, who harvested the skin off my body
who stole the innocence I once was
supposed to be -as a little girl-
I was supposed to enjoy the world-and now-
my world is too young to be gray and frail and..... dying.
but it is
and
I can scream,
and
it won't stop
I can run far away,
and
it won't stop.

Life begins and ends.
You leave chunks behind when you die-
some bigger or smaller than others-
those chunks live on in all sorts of ways.
They can be people or a lover's memory or newspaper clippings.
Photographs, letters, an archive, or a family reunion.

Legacies of you.
Pieces of time remain- still frozen-
a laugh
a smile
a hug
a word
that you gave someone,
remains forever.

... like a scar.


Posted by ~**Violet Leaves**~

Thursday, November 23, 2006

And now for another voice. One I only came in contact with a few short months ago during the SOA fiasco. This one just as powerful but in a different sort of way. Violet tells you what it feels like and lets you work out your own conclusions. This voice is straight up "this is how it is". Two voices, each with the same message. Take your pick. They are both the voices of experience and no amount of denial or rationalization or minimization in the world will change these simple truths.

Here's the victim's chair, if you want one.

Yes, I'm a survivor of CSA. By several people. I've been in therapy off and on for almost 30 years. I'm a LOT better. However, here are things I will likely have to live with for the rest of my life.

1. There are pictures of me circulating, WHILE I was being abused. I don't know if they're on the internet yet, but they are out there, and I know this for a fact, since a) I was actually there (duh) when they were being taken, and b) I saw a copy of one over 10 years after it was taken. Take your pic off the registry? Take MINE out of the hands of the people who have them.

2. I have trust issues, because 2 of the people I was abused by were people I loved. I am in a very healthy relationship, and have been for some time, but we have had to have lots of very deep talks, and he knows that the slightest change in his behavior can trigger me. Luckily, since I have had therapy, and am with a man who adores me and tries his very best to understand me, I can quickly say "back off" and we both know what this means. It means that I am afraid that he is going to turn into "the monster," the same way my abusers would turn from being what they were in public situations to what they really were, behind closed doors. That's not likely to go away. Ever.

3. There are certain physical characteristics of two of my abusers that were the same, and will trigger me if I encounter them. I have gone through extensive treatment to try to defeat this, such as desensitization therapy, to no avail. Over 30 years later, a certain physical characteristic I see in someone can make me have to go literally vomit in the bathroom (if I can make it that far). That makes it hard to even go to the grocery store, etc. Yeah, RSOs have it rough.

4. I still have to see one of my abusers at funerals, and such. I remember at the last one, thinking, well, shit, if SHE would just die, that would be the last funeral I'd have to be physically ill at (not hers, the one BEFORE hers).

5. I worry every single day about the children of my abusers. They were never remorseful. It makes me wonder, and it makes me worry.

6. I've seen one person, in my whole life, who seems remorseful about this, and that is Met. I've never seen it before or after. I don't have nearly the guilt about this as I used to, but it's still there, and when I see RSOs blame their victims over and over, I worry about the thousands of victims in this world who have to read that crap, and have their guilty feelings reinforced. For most of us, it doesn't matter how many times we're told "It's not your fault," it's an emotion, and it's not a logical ideal that we can just get on board with.

7. Just the names. All 5 have very common names. Every time I hear the names, it echoes through my head over and over, and I have to do some very active and purposeful chanting in my head to get it to stop.

8. I still have problems with food and sleep. One of my abusers brainwashed me by giving me only the amount of food and sleep I needed to stay alive. My stomach was never full, and I was always tired. Nowdays, try to interrupt me when I'm eating or sleeping and I become FURIOUS. Luckily, through counseling, I can swallow that fury and not lash out at innocent people who have no idea what they've done, but the fury is still there, and it is anything but pleasant.

9. For years and years, I equated love with sex. You can imagine where that led me in my teen years, and older. That's getting a lot better, but that, in itself, is a life sentence for most of us, and has caused many deaths due to risky behavior because of that equation.

10. See this list? Another list of 10. Why's that? Well, when you are not in control of your life and are being abused for a long period of your childhood, you overcompensate in other ways.

So, there's just a part of my life. I figure I have another 40 years left to keep working on it, and you guys love to scream "YOU NEED HELP!" Well, yes, I still need help, and I've gotten help. Unlike some of you would like to believe, we don't just go to a therapist for a little while, get our certification, and then just go about our lives as if nothing ever happened.

Why should you be able to?

Ricky's Mom says it was "just horrifying"

Karen Fletcher pleaded guilty to violating federal obscenity law based on several stories she wrote for her Web site, “Red Rose Stories,” which depicted the rape, murder and torture of children.

She had 29 members each of whom paid a monthly fee to be able to read those stories.

Karen will spend 5 years on probation. U.S. District Judge Joy Flowers Conti had told Ms Fletcher that she would've considered incarceration had it gone to trial...

“If anyone would have read the story and acted upon it, a little child could have suffered devastation that you would have had to live with for the rest of your life”

The prosecutor, Stephen Kaufman said “The individuals willing to pay money to subscribe to this Web site clearly have a very strong sexual interest in children — not just a sexual interest, but a violent sexual interest”

Ms Fletcher commented that she had been abused and just like the enabling women we keep running across she doesn't mind the harm to children which her words aid and abet

I may still be afraid of the monsters, but at least in the stories, they prey on someone else, not me.

We know of some of those people, don't we? Those who would be interested in these stories, those that need a picture in their minds, and those who go on to rape.

Robert Metz:

Investigators found 20,000 images of child and infant pornography on Metz's computer. One of the images depicted Metz performing a sex act on Amber when she was an infant. Others showed babies being sodomized and defecated or urinated on.

Williams and her two sisters spoke today at the federal court sentencing of their father, Robert Metz, who was ordered to spend 40 years behind bars for trading in child pornography. All three now-adult daughters said Metz had raped them when they were children.

The FBI arrested Robert Leslie Metz in 2007 as part of an investigation begun by Australian Federal Police, which forwarded information about Kissimmee resident Tony Guerra, according to an affidavit on file in U.S. District Court.

Tony Guerra:

A FORMER Disney amusement park worker who persuaded an Australian man to tape the sexual abuse of his six-year-old daughter and six-month-old granddaughter and distribute it on the internet has been jailed for more than 10 years.

He liked to hear children scream and recommended pedophiles go to Disney to look for girls.

Reported in Relapse prevention with Sex Offenders

"the longer sexual fantasies are maintained and elaborated on, the greater the chance that the behavior will be acted out in real life"

We know and understand this though don't we? We understand the dangers of pedophiles encouraging each other, we understand this extremely simple concept. But here we have a woman.....Tikibug aka Ricky's Mom .....who believes for some strange reason that she has an understanding adequate enough to "educate America". Let's take a look at Karen Fletcher's plea agreement, what was included in her stories, and then we'll look at what Tikibug "Miss Prevention" herself has to say about it.

Among the stories were the following, which underlie Counts One through Six of the Indictment:

1. "melinda. txt" in which an eight -year-old girl is kidnapped and raped; the rapist (a woman) becomes the doctor to the eight-year-old; the doctor then kidnaps her with her two-year-old sister who is also raped;
2. "4men2. txt" in which a f ive-year-old girl is raped by an adult male as his wife assists; the five-year-old girl is also forced to perform oral sex on wife;
3. "katie. txt" in which a six-year-old girl is kidnapped, drugged, and raped; piercing rings are applied to victim's chest and vaginal area;
4. "redonnashow.txt" in which an eight-year-old girl, nine-year-old boy, and four-year-old girl are tortured and raped as "slaves"; eight-year-old "slavew girl is tortured, raped, and forced to eat feces;
5. "jandj .txtM in which a two-year-old girl is raped and tortured; a four-year-old girl is raped as mother is tortured - both mother and daughter are murdered;
   
6. "M&M.docU in which a five-year-old "slaven girl is tortured and raped; a six-year-old "slave" girl is raped.

The defendant, Karen Fletcher, agrees that each of the six stories satisfies the following test for obscenity enunciated in Miller v. United States, 413 U.S. 15, 24 (1973)

But what does Mary Duval say about this? She believed it was "horrifying". Oh, not that the woman wrote it and publisihed it, but that she would be punished for it. She supports Karen writing these stories, just like the pedophiles on GirlChat and BoyChat, she believes that the stories might be a substitute for making children scream.

I have news for her......These were not stories about child sexual abuse. These were stories describing child and baby torture, rape and murder in a way to arouse sadistic pedophiles. They were written to feed into the thinking errors that pedophiles have that children like being abused. Mary Duval should hang her head in shame.

WOW! She has the same opinion as AZTRAM! He also compared Karen's 'suffer the children' fantasies to Stephen King! Let's see if we can clarify this for her. When Stephen King writes his fiction he's not trying to pass off monsters as a good thing to be. He's not trying to feed into the fantasies of monsters and rabid dogs. WTF is wrong with you Tikibug? Do you REALLY believe this crap? Or do you speak impulsively without thinking?

I believe that Ricky's Mom is so deep into denial that ANY mention of a sex crime is something she feels compelled to defend. Here's some facts for you wacked out nut jobs. I have never attacked Ricky. I have said repeatedly that I do not blame Mom's for fighting for their sons. But I HAVE attacked the rhetoric of the pedo enabling behavior and statements of "Ricky's Mom" and others. Contrary to popular RSO belief we do not go around "attacking any sex offender just because they are a sex offender". We are clarifying their lies and deceptions and if Tiki had an ounce of honest decency in her body we wouldn't have to be doing this. As long as her mouth is moving and these things continue to spew forth from her, I'll be here telling people what the fuck she's up to.

And while I'm on a roll here, the word PASTOR is not pronounced pasture. The word coerced does not have an H in the middle of it, and the word pedophile is in the Websters Dictionary right between pea-brained abuser and pissed-off anti. It is a common use word and they can tell their child-rapist in denial friend Walter that anyone can use that word without being a medical doctor. So he'll have to set his "practicing medicine without a license lawsuit" aside for now.

Karen Fletcher said

Let the stories paint a picture in your mind...

Ricky's Mom agrees. This to her equals prevention. Since she's all about 'prevention' let us look at her other forms of prevention that she supports.

I find that very interesting. Especially considering that it is not only accepted prevention techniques but also accepted by the very organizations that Ricky's Mom supports.

More than 80% of sexual abuse cases occur in one-adult/one-child situations.

Reduce the risk. Protect children.

• Think carefully about the safety of any one-adult/one-child situations. Choose group situations when possible.
• Create and lobby for policies reducing or eliminating one-adult/one-child situations in all youth-serving organizations, such as faith groups, sports teams, and school clubs. These policies should ensure that all activities can be interrupted and observed.
• Make sure outings are observable, if not by you, then by others.
• Find a way to tell the adults who care for children that you and the child are educated about child sexual abuse. Be that direct.

Why would she implement prevention techniques? This is the behavior Ricky's Mom believes is acceptable. Remember, this is a mother saying this:

This is also the mother who said the man who brutally raped a four year old should never get out of prison.....he should be shot she says. The same woman who signed the RSOL petition to abolish life imprisonment, civil commitment, the death penalty and age of consent laws..........allowing pedophiles to legally have sexual contact with prepubescent children. Ricky's Mom is not about prevention. The only thing she's about is justifying the behavior of people who harm children all to get her "baby" off the registry. She needs everyone she can get she says. Well go for it Mary. I'll be right here every step of the way watching you and telling people what's what. Because seriously now, to deny my first amendment right to counter your lies well..........that would just be 'horrifying" wouldn't it?

Denial Therapy for Blame Gamers

"The problem is, MOST child sex crimes or child abuse is caused by someone the child knows and trusts such as a family member. It is also mostly due to parental neglect. IF a child is NOT left alone or unattended, such as walking to and from school or the park then they could not and would not be abducted."

--Donna Kistler - Blame Gaming SmartAss

So speaks Donna Kistler, aka "Mrs. K"

It seems to me she's ineffectively combined two separate arguments and tried to make them one. Either most child sex crimes are committed by family members and acquaintances OR they are mostly committed by strangers. Donna can't have it both ways.

If they are committed by strangers then it's the parents fault. If they are committed by someone the victim knows then it's whose fault? Oh yes, the parents. Since we know for a fact that the vast majority of child sexual abuse is committed by someone known to the victim I fail to see how Donna's argument that MOST child sexual abuse is due to negligence on the part of the parent is a logical argument. We know there are many bad parents in this world, just like there are many scumbags of all sorts. Many times however it is not necessarily neglect on the part of the parent. We know these things without saying them......people like Donna don't. She's looking for a scapegoat. Did you see her mention once the responsibility of the people who actually commit the crimes? No, but you see her minimizing on their behalf. Why would that be? Why would she take away ALL responsibility for the actions of the offender?

Perhaps it's to defend her husband attempting to abduct a child, why he just couldn't have done that if the parents had been with her at that school now could he? See? It's not his fault.

It's time parents start being parents and watching their children. What exactly would you do differently if you knew a sex offender were in your neighborhood?? Watch your child better?? Why not watch them better NOW???

How do you watch your children BETTER if it's close acquaintances known and trusted by the victim who are committing the crimes? Perhaps it would be better to KNOW that the guy next door raped a 6 year old child 10 years ago when their child wants your child to have a slumber party at their house? ....... or when he agrees to walk your child to school for you? After all Donna did say it was best to trust someone to watch out for your child when you couldn't be there.........in the same breath she says most sex abuse is committed by someone known to the victim...........and using a stranger danger argument. It makes your head spin. We can't know ahead of time who will do these atrocious things, but we can use what information we have to give us clues of who definitely not to get close to. Most child sexual abuse is not due to abductions. Most child sexual abuse is not necessarily violent. Most child sexual abuse causes severe damage due to the psychological harm it causes the victim.

A frequent blame gamer argument is that they are reformed and no more likely to commit a crime than anyone else. And yet when someone believes them and trusts them and they betray that trust and molests a child, the blame gamers say it's the parents fault. This happened recently with the Dylan Thomas story, he convinced a family he was reformed after spending ten years in prison and all he wanted was a second chance and to finish his doctorate. They offered him that chance..........they believed him. He repaid them by molesting their 5 year old son. Tsand said it was the parents fault.

The fact of the matter is that it's no one's fault but the perpetrator. Personally I think it's quite stupid to believe them when they say they'd never do it again. I don't believe in gambling with children to find out. On the other hand though, no one forces these freaks to molest children. They CHOOSE to do it. Enablers don't recognize that, they minimize and rationalize on behalf of men who have committed serious crimes while making derogatory statements about their victims recovery.

Rod Wagner said:

"With 60 million victims of child abuse in this country, I'd say the vast majority "got over it." Whether it be war zones or whatever happens in this life, people learn and get on with life."

Tikibug said:

"We're not weak. I was a victim twice and I am not no snot nosed teary eyed little victim."

I've come to know many victims of child sexual abuse through the work that I do, and I've yet to meet a weak "snot nosed teary eyed" one. They are strong, they are courageous and they stare little shits like the bug in the face and say "fuck you, you're enabling pedophiles with your rhetoric."

Tiki laughed at a friend who didn't feel comfortable putting her little girl on a church bus with only a male driver on board. She said she was hysterical. And yet if the woman HAD done that and her child was molested the bugthang would have blamed the mother for being negligent. "She should have known better". Since Mary is all about "prevention" then she would know one of the main things you do to protect your children is to limit their contact with adults when there is no one else around.

I'm sure she would agree with Donna's philosophy, that it's always someone else's fault besides the actual abuser, and no one needs to know that they have a propensity to sexually assault others. They both signed the Reform Sex Offender Law Campaign, meant to abolish the registry, the death penalty, civil commmitment and life imprisonment in addition to age of consent laws which Tikibug has stated explicitly that she supports. Why?

Why is Donna out telling people THIS:

I am standing proudly by my husband and supporting him in his recovery process.... HE NEVER had a charge on a child plus, his crime was over 20 years ago when he was very young and high on drugs.

Or This

They also need to learn that more child molestation cases are NOT done by strangers.

Its about time society realize that children are in more danger of being killed by a drunk driver and drugs than by a sex offender. Reality is, too many children are left unattended by their parents and when something bad happens they want to blame everyone else without taking responsibility for their negligence.

Or this

A drug deal can go happen ANYPLACE, including a drug free school zone! Aren't you worried that your child will be given a drug or perhaps shot in the crossfire of a drug deal gone bad? Maybe we should post pictures of parents who neglect their children instead.

Or

a sex offender as we all know could be someone who stopped along the turnpike walked off the side of the road and urinated!

Or

Fact is the highest percentage of sex crimes are done by someone the child or family know and trust. Most often within the childs own home by a family member.

Realistically, IF a child is being watched and not left unattended the chances of any criminal activity happening to them would drop to an ALMOST non existent level. However, the majority of people don't take the time to watch their own children

Why would Donna say these things? Why would she say not to worry because strangers don't abuse your children then claim it's mostly by strangers due to parental neglect? It's because she's merely repeating mantra's and she lacks understanding of what she's saying. This is a woman, just like Tikibug, who is so deep into the denial process that she doesn't even realize what she's said. Not only can she not organize her thoughts properly, or the facts but she doesn't even understand those who speak out against her. Tikibug and her "circle" as she calls them believe we are attacking her son and no matter how many ways you explain it they will not ever understand because they are all so mentally disturbed. Here's a quick fact AGAIN, What I have to say about Tikibug has nothing to do with her son. I do not blame her for fighting for him one bit, what I have a problem with is her fighting for and associating with pedophiles and unrepentant, unremorseful, violent, distorted sex offenders who are USING and exploiting her and she's not only allowed it, she's fighting for them tooth and nail.

Linda Pehrson claims she doesn't fight for pedophiles and yet she ignores members of her own forum who are obviously on the verge of hurting someone and then tops it all off by naming Walter Howard as her webmaster. WTF was she thinking?

These women, who Walter and Kevin believe will save them all, are women who all claim to have been victims as children and yet show no compassion or understanding of the lifelong problems from psychological abuse that many victims may have. I wonder if they are so quick to defend those who sexually assault others because of their own psychological damage. Who knows? What I DO know is that Donna's husband is someone who is the epitome of the reason for the registry. He IS the one who should be on a registry. She can't argue her case by telling the truth. So she points to imperfect parents, and she points to public urinators and Romeo and Juliet cases. But she doesn't tell you that her husband broke into a womans home and raped her in the night, that he attempted to do that to two other women and spent 15 years in prison for it. And she sure doesn't tell you that he was released from prison on July 26, 2004 and on July 19, 2005 he tried to pick up a 9 year old child outside an elementary school.

It just wouldn't fit with the blame gamers plan would it?

Gangs of Thugs

Absolute Zero has been focusing heavily on RSO activists for the past 9 months. And while I think it's obvious to everyone here just exactly how devious and heartless those people are, there may be a question as to just what exactly that may have to do with an anti-pedophile blog.

Is there a difference?

In RSO activism and pedophile activism?

If there is, I've yet to find it. Their rhetoric is the same as the pedophile activists - the only difference is that the RSOs try to put disclaimers on theirs by stating "We don't support pedophiles!" while supporting pedophiles.

As if no one would notice.

The CEO of Sosen for example signed that pro-pedophile petition which called for the abolishment of virtually all restrictions and punishments regarding sex offenders AND calls for the abolishment of age of consent laws for prepubescent children. When confronted with this Sosen claimed ignorance and the woefully stupid statement that "there are no pedophiles in our group". Apparently they believe that because they can't see them they don't exist -- And yet, they can't see ME -- does that mean I also don't exist?

What it all boils down to is this... those people will say ANYthing whether or not it's true, whether or not they believe it. They will stab their own supporters in the back to get what they want. When all is said and done they have a "ME ME ME" mentality. So while they do understand that they need each other they would be more than willing to throw their brother under the train if it suited their purpose at the time. They react thoughtlessly, and impulsively and if they are ever sorry for one second for something they've done, they would never admit it, they would never express remorse. Jan Kruska is a fine example of this one. She's done more to hurt sex offender groups than any other single person or group of persons combined.

There are approximately 600,000 registered sex offenders in this country. Of those there are only a handful that are activists. Of the activists there are only a handful that are sex offenders. Why is that? Because they have their enablers doing the dirty work for them. These co-dependent mousy women whose lives depend on 'standing by their men' whether it's their spouse or their child, they will rationalize for them. Minimize their crime. Blame the victim. Bash the victim. Mock the victim. They'll lie, they'll cheat, they'll even steal. They'll try to find ways to rip off the system, and the taxpayers. They'll call you ugly names and accuse you of being ignorant and uneducated. They'll say you're a professional victim. Or in the case of Cheryl Griffiths, she'll just call you "disgusting" "scum sucking idiot" etc etc etc

So, no, not all activists are RSO's. Some are family members and some are in it for seemingly altruistic motives. Think Margie Slagle, Sarah Tofte, Niki Delson. Their thinking is just as distorted but without the same motivations present. It's no less dangerous, it's no less outrageous, and it's no less supportive of pedophile causes.

Sometimes these activists say things like "these sex offender laws should only apply to the ONE PERCENT of RSO's who are truly dangerous" The question that begs to be answered then is "who do they consider dangerous"? Obviously not those repeat offenders deemed at high risk of re-offense at Coalinga Hospital. After all, they rallied to get them released.....against the advice of experts. And where do they get that one percent figure? Well, they SAY that the majority of registered sex offenders were convicted for consensual sex, or for drunken mooning or for peeing behind a bush. Well that may or may not be true, but if it is, I've yet to see someone charged for peeing behind a bush and put on a sex offender registry. And if it HAS indeed happened, it's not one of THESE people we're discussing. No, their offenses are far worse than that.

This is what I think. I think they need to stop blaming society, the government, parents, and the victims for what they think is unfair and look to themselves and try to find what's missing.

Perhaps instead of blaming, minimizing, rationalizing, bashing, mocking, lying, cheating and deceiving they should tell Lee Lee to take care of her other children before they turn out the same way. Perhaps they should tell Linda that it's not appropriate for her to ask for donations considering her welfare fraud conviction. Perhaps they should tell Tikibug to stop posting on pedophile websites. Perhaps they should look long and hard at exactly who they are involved with and the projects they're undertaking on their behalf. Perhaps. And yet, perhaps is a word too big for these people. Perhaps has possibility. These gangs of thugs have none.

HT to Jacey